February/March 2006

Our tag line, 'Measuring Life by a Different Standard', can have different meanings. Oftentimes, we attempt to elevate thinking by publishing Golden Rules that are either thought provoking or set moral standards higher than is the norm. However, in the case of George Carlin, no one measures the drum beat quite like he does. The following Rules are certainly not Golden, but hopefully, will put a smile on your face.

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in' - but you are only asked 'a penny for your thoughts?' Where is that extra penny going?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say that they 'slept like a baby' when babies wakeup every 2-3 hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

How come we choose from just two people for President of the United States, and fifty for Miss America?

I enrolled in an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't sign up in the first place.

Brain cells come, brain cells go - but fat cells live forever.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' whenever we mess up in life?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

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